Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hazard County



'ELBOW GET'S UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL'

When a mere nipper, there was nothing I liked better than to settle down on the sofa and take in an episode of seminal '70's TV drama ;'The Dukes of Hazard'.

The escapades of Bo and Luke Duke, Boss Hogg, Cleetus, and the delectable Daisy Duke held me enthralled. Bo and Lukes big block V8 Chevy, the General Lee, powered through the southern landscape leaping over bridges and scattering hay bales in its wake. The lovely Daisy displayed her lovely long legs (it's called acting) in a pair of obligatory 70's micro pants. I believe that those pins were insured at Lloyds of London for $1,000,000. They were worth every cent.

The ineptitude of the obese Boss Hogg and his gormless deputy (hee,hee,hee) Cleetus were displayed in every episode. They never did catch those god darn Duke boys.

At the time, I didn't realise that these characters represented a very specific socio-economic/ cultural grouping in the southern United States. I wouldn't have understood if someone had told me that these people were 'rednecks'.

Later I discovered that these 'rednecks' had been widely represented in US cinema and TV dramas.Through 'The Beverley Hillbillys', 'Deliverance' and culminating in 'The Dukes of Hazard', the rednecks had covered all bases.

It has been reported that the southern white male is an endangered species. Pilloried and ridiculed for his antedeluvian love of drinkin' and fightin', he has been forced to retreat into smaller and smaller 'good ole boy' enclaves. In these enclaves the flag of the Confederacy still flies and redneck arts such as the Mudpit Bellyflop, Hubcap hurl and Armpit Serenade are still practiced. There is no softy apple dunking for ELBOW and his buddies. They go Bobbing-for-Raw-Pig's-Feet. That's what I call a real mans activity. You won't find that at the Church of England annual fete at Little Sodbury.

You can't really be nasty about rednecks. Their antecedents made up 25% of the US population 200 years ago. Every American from the Florida panhandle to northern Alaska has a bit of redneck in them. Fuck's sake, Bill Clinton IS a redneck. You just have to look at him to know that he scoffs deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches on the sly.

Perhaps you would care to join be in a rendition of the redneck National Anthem sometime.

'Sweet Home Alabama (di ne ne ne), where the skies are blue.............'

* This post was in no way, shape or form slightly cribbed from a newspaper article. Oh no, not even a teensy weensi little polka dot bikini bit.

4 comments:

becca said...

I loved that show. We used to climb into the family car through the window even though the doors were perfectly operatable. I mean how cool was the gen'ral lee anyway? I asked my mom one time if we were rednecks, and she said ,"No honey we're cultured Texas trash". There is a major difference you see.

garfer said...

Hmmm. Are trailer park trash and rednecks the same thing? I'm thinking Thelma and louise here.

becca said...

Trailer park trash are the lowest on the trailer park totum pole. Trailers can be really posh actually. So the trash of the mobile abode dwellers are really pretty bad. Ain't got no soap bad. Rednecks can be found in very nice houses. There is even one in The White House as a matter of fact. I should really put together some sort of pyramid to explain this.

garfer said...

A venn diagram would be better. I'm sure there are loads of overlapping layers.