Thursday, July 21, 2005

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Mama, We're All Crazeee Now.

I don't know whether or not MI5 have slipped some strange potion in the reservoirs, but there seem to be more and more raving nutters wandering around out there. Put it down to 'care in the community' if you like; it seems to me that unless you are bona fide straitjacket and Largactil material, you are free to go about torturing cats or whatever takes your fancy.

Take that repulsive teenager who stabbed his parents to death and then flew off for a three night jamboree with his girlfriend at the New York Plaza hotel. Everyone at his school just thought that he was a big headed wanker, not a delusional maniac.

Apparently he was suffering from 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD). American psychologists identified this particular sydrome as a rare disorder suffered by one in a hundred people. This worries me. On that basis, in my nearest small town, there are one hundred delusional maniacs preparing to run amok with a Stanley knife at a moments notice.

If you consider all the psychological disorders identified by psychologists it gets even more worrying. If, say; 3 in 100 are sociopaths, 6 in 100 suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, 4 in 100 have bipolar schizophrenia, and another 20 in a 100 have some other mentalist condition, you have to reach the logical conclusion that a third of the people that walk past you on the street are total nutters. Having stood in a long Post Office queue populated by twitchers and mutterers, I have no doubt that this is the case.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's safe to go outside at all. Maybe I'll stay home tomorrow. I can have a go at coaxing mother out of the woodshed; she's been in there for a couple of weeks now. Anyway, my toads need polishing.


12 comments:

MHN for short said...

You sure that your last name isn't Strangeway?

garfer said...

I was making an oblique reference to a weird British sitcom called 'The League of Gentleman'.
It might turn up on cable in the states sometime. one of its funniest characters is an obsessive toad collector.

MHN for short said...

Ah. Nothing at all then like the movie "A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen"? I got those two confused. I had seen the referrence before somewhere.

Sniffy said...

In THIS house, we do not use the F word!

I like the way psychologists (and geneticists) feel the need to assign every trait its own "syndrome". You're not allowed to be an individual anymore, you have to be compartmentalised and categorised according to the way you see the world or your genetic make-up. Wankers, making jobs for themselves and making everybody else think there's something wrong with them.

Nice one Garfer, your blog deserves more recognition, it's excellent and I'm sensing a kindred spirit her. Not that I'm getting many visitors at the moment myself, but I'm going to give you the Cakesniffer treatment.

Captain Beefheart said...

You're sounding a little paranoid there fella. Sure you're not the one with teh problems? Besides, anyone who prefers the teacake to the wafer must be a little fwip fwip ding hatstand

Herge Smith said...

It's not safe to go outside. Have you learn't nothing from our media. On every street corner - teenagers waiting to mug you, in every bush perverts waiting to finger the teenagers and behind every quiet household door, terrorists waiting to blow you up.

Best stay home mate and produce some more fab blogs which incorporate the world 'jamboree'.

garfer said...

Tina,
ta for that. I'm not sure that I want to be too recognised. The pressure to post every day might get a bit onerous. I've only been at it a month and I'm starting to get bloggers block.
Cpn Beefheart,
The Tunnocks caramel wafer is an estimable confection, as is the caramel log, but the teacake was my first love. I am not fickle and will not desert my dearest.
Herge,
wise, wise advice.

Herge Smith said...

Next proper post I write (meaning not all pics) I'm forcing the word 'Jamboree in' - and it'll hyperlink here.

Oh yeah.

Hmm, what to write about...

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